


Catch Me if You Can (Her Side of the Story)

by Zoya1416



Category: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Genre: After Broken Homes, Crimes On Both Sides, DCI Alexander Seawoll, DS Mariam Stephanopoulos, Disfigurement, Gen, Magical Victims, Magical crimes, POV Lesley May, Turncoat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7365766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People think I had no reason for turning against the Folly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me if You Can (Her Side of the Story)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Spring Release Trigger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7120471) by [Zoya1416](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416). 



Peter doesn't say it, but I know he wonders why. Nightingale—he doesn't say it, but I know he thinks it all the time. We took her in, and she betrayed us. That's what he'll say.  


What neither of them will say is what happened after I was attacked and lost my face. I was sent home on long medical, of course. While I was at home, my former colleagues visited me. Stephanopoulos visited five times, and even Seawoll managed it twice, when he got out of his own recovery. I could tell that he hated doing it—he could not look me straight in the face—mask, I mean. Stephanopoulos was very cool. She looked at me straight on, and didn't avoid the mask. She didn't seem to be flustered by it. 

Peter visited when he could, but he was erratic. The boy was always erratic, not to say unsure of himself, and—well, he never made a move before I was attacked, and certainly wasn't going to afterward. At least that was honest. I never thought anyone else would want me, until Zach did. Not only did he not care about my face, he adored—worshiped? the rest of my body, and made me feel glorious as a woman. Actually, more so than anyone had before I was mutilated.

But ask me: how many times the Nightingale visited. (Yes, I know now why he's called that, and trust me, it's not very complimentary. But I won't tell you why.) The Nightingale did not visit a single time. Not once. He wrote a letter and it was very kind. He expressed regret that I had come to harm through my exposure to magic, and said that I had been very brave. That was it. I suppose that came to him from the war. Send one letter home for a boy who'd died, tell the parents he was valorous, and that was all that was needed. 

Who did come to visit? They know now. He came all the time—at least twice a month, and always brought something for me. A game, a puzzle—doesn't sound enough to turn me to the dark side, as Peter would say, does it, but it brought me a smile. Can't say it brought me a smile to my lips, since I don't have proper ones any more, but it was a smile and he could tell by my eyes.

I have heard that it's the Nightingale who saved my eyes, that it was the only thing he had the power for, since he had been shot, and I've heard that he didn't know whether to be sorry that he had. Of course I'm glad to have my eyes! Why wouldn't I be! I can look at other things besides the ruin of my face, thank you.

But he came. My mentor. He didn't tell me to call him my master, he didn't read me any ancient and archaic oaths, and, here's the best part—he wasn't ashamed to take on a female apprentice. He said he'd not had one before (still not sure how many total apprentices there are, and no, I'm not telling you what I might think) but he saw it as interesting. He was actually fascinated in whether a woman might learn to practice magic differently from a man. Said he didn't think so, and we'd have to see, wouldn't we? That's when he started teaching me to form a werelight. Lux. 

The Nightingale teaches like he was taught when he was a boy back in 1907, and he hasn't learned anything since. Those hours of Latin and Greek? I can tell you that's not the only way, and that's why I learned faster than Peter. Peter relates well to the Nightingale. Peter would imprint on any man who was better than his addict father. I'm not judging him. I'm explaining why he took well to the Nightingale's regime. 

So, my mentor's the one who taught me to produce a werelight. I can still see the amazement on Peter's face, because he never imagined anyone could do that alone. Never told him any different.

Am I an evil person because I let the Folly down? I could say that the Folly let so many people down during the years that magic was coming back and the Nightingale stayed locked away in his pain. Here's the reality, Inspector—you didn't care to ask, did you? You didn't care about the fairies' pain, just after the war, when a magic eater came after them, did you? They thought it might be some kind of dragon, but won't talk about it, even to explain how they got rid of it, since to speak a thing's name gives it power. Don't even remember that? Maybe you don't. You didn't come. Zach told me so. (Yes, I do believe Zach at times, when he can be corroborated. He was about that.) 

And what about the magical crimes up in Scotland, in the 1970's? Five children killed because they were glamoured into walking into the lake. Only they didn't walk into the lake. They were taken by the Queen. She left all their clothes on the edge. I have the case notes from a practitioner who died trying to fight her. 

Were there other magical crimes that the Folly didn't respond to? Yes, and I have the details. I don't need to write them all here. Did my mentor commit them? I don't think so, their origin has been shown to me from more than one source. (Not Zach. I know he's unreliable, even if he does fuck well.) Beverly for one talks to me, and other Rivers not in London. Cherwell--he's heaps older than Mama Thames, but he's lived by Oxford for ages, and it keeps him young. And Sky wasn't the only dryad, you know.

Let's face it, Inspector. I know he's the villain today. I never meant to hurt Peter. I never knew that he would ask me to. It was a test, and I either passed or failed it, according on which side you stood. But—you would have killed all the different peoples, wouldn't you? The jazz vampires, certainly. I'm not saying the Pale Lady didn't deserve to die, but you were going to execute her before she fell over the railing and topped herself, and you've not told Peter about that. And I've met other different peoples. (I know you told Peter that werewolves were extinct. Maybe the purges of the Folly missed a few.) No, Peter, I'm not going to introduce you to any werewolves, you sweet boy, trying to form coalitions for community policing among the weird. I didn't actually say I've met any. Just making a point. “Working Together for a Stranger London.” Who did you think put that up? I had to laugh. So, no, Peter, I'm not coming back. I don't know what my future holds. I was very frightened after Skygarden, and I still don't know what might be asked of me. 

Nightingale, if no one would know you had done it, without Peter's ethics to restrain you—how many populations would you exterminate? Are you ever going to tell him what the Folly wizards did before the war, to innocently weird people? Be honest, if you can.

Now I'd better run on, crimes to commit, you know. From your side of the street. But check your mirror. Do you remember that Zach said when he first came into our nick, “This is the Folly, for toffs and monsters.” Are you even now ready to tell us why he said that? I will hedge, I know that some of them (rich, white, over-privileged men though they were) were good. Still, for too many—the two were the same. Exactly the same.

**Author's Note:**

> The fascinating idea that Nightingale saved Lesley's eyes, couldn't do more because he was shot, and wasn't sure whether he regretted it, came from another fic, 'Shoring up the Walls,'by Philomytha.
> 
> I'm not a Lesley apologist, but after allowing her some space in my head in "Spring Release Trigger," she has taken some more.


End file.
